Issue Date: 
Feb 23 2006 - 11:00pm
Author: 
Page3
Topics: 
city living

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. February 24, 2549 | Bangkok—The Ministry of Employment’s Department of Inactive Posts today announced the formation of a committee to consider a revolutionary vocational training program for displaced workers. At a glittering ceremony where guests sipped the finest Burgundy and Bordeaux wines accompanied by canapés from a three Michelin-star restaurant in Paris, Acting Deputy Vice-Secretary (Communications) Santi “Haasipsatang” Somboon outlined the key points of the proposed “Get Rich Quick or Die Tryin’” program, which aims to create thousands of warm bodies for the burgeoning proxy industry.“I am excited to announce the formation of this committee to consider this revolutionary vocational training program. With all the foreign investment that’s going on these days, there simply aren’t enough proxies to go around. This initiative will help us to achieve our goals of zero unemployment and to become a proxy hub by 2009,” he said.Eligible individuals include workers displaced by free trade agreements, victims of dodgy yet well-connected overseas jobs brokers, tsunami-affected villagers, farmers caught up in a never-ending cycle of debt and failed tenants of Siam Paragon. No previous experience is necessary, nor is literacy a prerequisite.During the two-week course participants will be taught how to set up shell companies using vacant lots and unused offices as physical addresses. Experts will assist them in developing signatures suitable for legal documents, and how to sign multiple documents without cramping. Included in the B30,000 tuition fee is an iPod Nano with Bose speakers. One-hundred percent financing is available.A B19 billion contract has been awarded to Haasipsatang Consultants (Thailand), which was set up yesterday by Khun Santi’s daughter, to provide branding services and to assist in the selection of 12 committee members from a pool of 14 candidates nominated by Excellent Proxy (Thailand), which is 51 percent owned by Khun Santi’s daughter’s gardener.For additional information, please see www.richproxy.co.th.- ENDS -# # #